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my parents wont let me out these christmas holidays and its not fair.
they expect me to study while being socially inept. i really don't think that i can do that. its too hard. how can you study when your feeling all shitty and depressed because your all antisocial and deprived. no you can't really.
when you have no motivation, no friend to support or back you up or just laugh with. when you do not experience anything. when you can't relate to people.
how can you know what life is? how do you enjoy life without these.
are you even worth anything? can your life even be valued?
i ask myself these questions. whenever i'm alone, which is usual now, i often go blank. i do not have thoughts sometimes. sometimes i stare off and just sit there doing nothing until i feel like crying. because crying is the only thing that helps me get through this mess i'm facing. it is when you break down do you really pick yourself up again.
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